We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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