ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
