You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
