I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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