She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
