just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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