i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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