yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
