the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize