Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize