so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
