I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
