I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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