if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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