Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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