i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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