i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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