I accidentally burped into my bong.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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