i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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