You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
