best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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