Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
