The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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