Already got asked if we're dating
she peed on how many people?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
