somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
