I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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