I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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