She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
