im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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