Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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