is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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