Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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