i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
