I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
