Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
