I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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