If i come over, it means nothing
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
