...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
