I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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