that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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