we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
