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I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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