There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
