I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
