I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
