it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
