Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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