It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
