sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
