Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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