love makes seman taste better
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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