Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
