Screwed.edu
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
please come you make the beer taste better
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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