Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You have to summon your inner elephant
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
