you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
