I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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