can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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