I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
