I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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