Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She said her name was "party"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
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Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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